i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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