recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
