Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
