i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
