Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
