Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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