all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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