is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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