there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Randomize
