She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
