And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize