Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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