Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
