I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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