a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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