and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
