you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
