If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
