a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
