i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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