And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
