I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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