Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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