At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
