It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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