I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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