HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
