i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
