your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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