ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
