Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
