I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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