I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
