rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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