Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
