I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
