I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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