White coat. Heels.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
