I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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