Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
