This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
