His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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