i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
