My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
