dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Congratulations! We have a period
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
