so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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