I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
