This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
