His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
