Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
