i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
