i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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