Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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