Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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