Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
