i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
