if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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