I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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