okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize