When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
