Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Who died my cat blue again?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize