Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This baby is an asshole
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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