Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This is classic penis vs brain.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
